I hear it over and over, It’s “cuffing season,” “tired of being single,” and “in need of a bae.” In today’s world, if you don’t have a “babe,” “boo,” “main chick,” “boyfriend,” or “girlfriend,” you’re not really living. Everyone wants to be in a relationship. Most of my friends and classmates have already experienced what it is like to have a breakup, and “be in love.” I’m around them all day and have them on social media, so I repeatedly hear and see their relationships, making me feel left out. I cannot join in on the conversation or add my 5 cents. Even when hearing my guy friends talk about how in “love” they are with their girlfriends, posting cute pictures on social media with flaming captions made me wonder, what about me? I want to experience this. I want to be your typical “relationship goals.” I feel I’m the ideal guy a girl would ever want. A young Christian, gentleman, handsome, intelligent, etc. kind of guy. However, are these qualities being sought after by young ladies today? Girls seem more interested in the “thugs” or “bad boy” type of guys. Guys like me aren’t their “type” or fit their “standards” if they have any. Nowadays, it appears strange to hold the doors for a lady, have your pants pulled up or shirt tucked in. It appears strange when a young man speaks properly or has goals and dreams for himself. It seems strange when a young man is not interested in partying at clubs. It seems strange when a young man does not fit the style or caliber of guys today. So, where does that leave me? Where does that leave young men like me?
Sometimes, I feel like no girl wants me or I am not good enough, but I am good enough because Christ lives in me. I may think I am ready for a relationship, but I may not. Just because couples may post their cute pictures online does not mean that they are “relationship goals.” They can be going through the most hell behind closed doors but would never say because they want to keep frontin’ for the media. Jesus is the definition of perfect love, and if I am not fully engrafted in Him, I will never truly understand what love is or how to express love to others. Although it can be discouraging seeing other people become cuffed, while I am single, I have to keep focused on where I am going. God has someone out there for me, and He will reveal her in due time. I do not mind having to wait for God’s best for me. I choose not to change who I am so that girls will accept me for who I am not. I choose to draw closer to God and allow him to process me so that I can be the best boyfriend and, eventually, husband I can ever be.
As guys, there is nothing wrong with being single. We do not always have to be in a relationship or want to be in one. We can focus on ourselves. We can go after our dreams, goals, and vision. Women will always be here. We should invest more time and energy into things that matter most right now. It may be unpopular, but will benefit us in the long run. God has a special lady out there for all of us, so we do not need to go ahead of God or His timing.
Yes, I’m a Christian! Yes, I’m a Guy! AND YES, I’M UNCUFFED!
Raphael R. Roker 