One thing I’ve noticed more and more is how easy it is to tell someone what they should do.
We see their potential and want to encourage them to go after their dreams. There is nothing wrong with that. I believe we should encourage others.
But I think the real challenge is not just giving people ideas; it is supporting them in achieving those goals.
We can always say, “Do this” or “Do that,” but I think we are doing a disservice by not helping with the “how.”
How can they start a business?
How can they buy a car?
How can they go to college?
What are we going to do for Sean beyond giving him an idea?
Now that Susie has her business plan, how are we going to support her in getting her business off the ground?
What resources can we provide?
Who in our network can help Sean get to college?
We need to be intentional about offering solutions.
Unfortunately, we live in a culture where many people “gatekeep.” They withhold information, access, and connections that could help someone succeed.
Why do we do this?
When we realize that everyone can win, we will be in a much better position as a people.
In the Black community, there is a term called “Black crab syndrome.” It is the idea that if I cannot have it, you won’t either.
This kind of thinking is limiting and doesn’t help anyone.
Starting a business is more than just getting a license.
Going to college is more than just filling out an application.
Buying a car is more than just signing paperwork.
Once the excitement of the event dies down, the social media posts stop, and the congratulations fade away, that is when the real work begins.
When James is in his fifth week of college, and the graduation money runs out, that is when he needs the same people who encouraged him to go to college to now help him stay in college.
When Susie is in her first year of business with only three sales, that is when she needs the same people who encouraged her to start the business to now help her stay in business.
See, there is a whole lot of work behind the scenes when someone just says, “Do this.”
It takes blood, sweat, and tears for anyone to start a business, launch a new career, or go to college.
I am not saying you have to be the financial backer of every idea you share (though you can), but help can come in many ways.
- Provide financial support: Even small contributions can make a big difference. It does not have to be a million dollars. Even $20 can go a long way. Paying for an oil change or a week’s groceries for a college student can make a significant difference.
- Offer mentorship: Share your knowledge and experience. Be a role model and offer guidance.
- Connect them with resources: Introduce them to people who can help, such as business advisors, career counselors, or college admissions officers.
- Help them network: Facilitate introductions to potential clients, collaborators, or investors.
- Provide emotional support: Offer encouragement, motivation, and a listening ear.
Think about how many people you can reach in your circle by sharing a flyer.
Think about how Tyler feels because you encouraged him to “keep going.”
Think about the difference you can make by simply asking, “How can I help you achieve this dream?”
Building anything is hard, especially when you are starting from scratch with no family wealth or connections.
Not everyone inherits a business. Not everyone has $100,000 to invest. Not everyone has a network of influential people.
But what they do have is a dream, and even without those things, they can still achieve it.
We can help our brothers and sisters go further by being their biggest cheerleaders and actively involved in their journey.
It might be a longer road, but every step brings them closer to their goal.
So, let us not just tell people what we think they should do.
Let us do everything we can to HELP them achieve their goals.
Remember, the seeds you plant today will be the harvest you reap tomorrow!
Raphael R. Roker 