I’ll be honest.
It’s been a tough week since hearing of the passing of my friend, Brother Jake Royer.
It’s like this gut-wrenching feeling between “Is this for real?” and “He’s actually gone.”
You know, I’ve seen other people talk about losing a friend, but I would have never imagined experiencing the same grief so soon.
Someone I knew.
Someone I loved.
I met Jake back at Oral Roberts University, where we both graduated the same year.
We bonded over our shared Caribbean heritage, as he had roots in the Dominican Republic and I was from The Bahamas.
He told me he knew some songs and even sang some for me. He asked me to send him some other Bahamian songs that he would enjoy.
Our friendship grew from that point forward.
Jake was always in high demand, so if you got a chance to hang out with him, it was like meeting with the King of England.
You felt special.
He was just that kind of person.
Everybody loved him because he was so full of love.
Jake was a leader.
I saw him from a distance leading his missions group with such humility, care, and excellence. Again, everybody loved him.
He always went the extra mile in all he did—serving not to be seen, but because he loved Jesus.
Jake was a worshipper.
We lived on the same floor, so we all sat on the same row during chapel times.
Jake would always be found in the zone, worshipping.
However you were feeling that day, you could not help but worship Jesus because of Jake’s example.
Jake made everyone feel so loved and seen.
He would greet you like he hadn’t seen you all year, every time. He was always overflowing with the joy of the Lord.
We always kept each other in the loop about major life changes or happenings.
I remember one time he texted me a photo of him and a young lady, like a “life update.”
I was so happy to see my “little boy” grow up into a man. Hahaha!
It breaks my heart that I’ll never get to share that kind of life update with him anymore.
I know he’d be shocked, yet excited, as I was for him.
Most of us know what post-grad life was like.
I remember us talking about our plans, and he said how many applications he had been putting in and how few interviews he was getting.
See, friendships aren’t only about the “high” moments, but walking along during the discouraging ones, too.
I encouraged him, saying, “You’re closer to your yes than when you started.”
He did the same for me.
The last time we hung out, we went to Gloria’s and caught up on our lives, new updates, and future plans.
I told Jake I was in the area, so we could hang out.
Naturally, he invited me to church with him—I believe it was a youth event or regular service.
But I told him I just wanted to hang with him, and nobody else. Not knowing it would have been our last.
We, of course, updated each other about life and future goals.
I was unsure about mine, but Jake encouraged me to trust God’s plan for my life even when I didn’t know what lay ahead.
One of the things that struck me, though, was when Jake asked about what God had been speaking to me during this time.
Jake wanted to know about my natural life, for sure, but he was also concerned about my spiritual well-being. That’s who Jake was.
A man in full pursuit of God.
My time with Jake that day was precious because it was just us.
We ate, laughed, and rode around for a bit before parting ways. But our connection never died.
In the short time we’ve known each other, Jake has made an indelible impact on my life.
It’s not the longevity of knowing a person that makes the difference, but the impact that will last a lifetime.
What an example of Jesus he was.
A light whose life will shine forever through all who knew and loved him.
Boy, do I have many questions of “Why did this have to happen?”
I wish I had recorded more or taken more pictures of our time together, but who would have thought it would be like this today?
I’m sure we both thought we’d have more time together… but that wasn’t the case.
Jake, I know you won’t be able to read any of this, but I want the world to know what an amazing friend you were to me and all who knew you.
My heart is broken because I keep thinking of what a loss it is for all of us. Truly, what a loss.
To know we won’t be able to see you down here anymore, to know we won’t be able to hear your voice, your prayers, and your encouraging words.
I know this isn’t the end of life, but it still hurts, and that’s okay.
I’ve heard the saying that grief is the price we pay for love. What a price.
In all of this, even in the moments of perplexity, I hold on to this Scripture:
“The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart: and merciful men are taken away, none considering that the righteous is taken away from the evil to come. He shall enter into peace: they shall rest in their beds, each one walking in his uprightness.” – Isaiah 57:1-2 KJV
If God places somebody on your heart, He’s doing it for a reason.
Don’t ignore His prompting. Reach out. Call them. Text them.
Whatever it takes.
If you’re in the area, find them.
Make a special effort to see the people you love.
We shouldn’t think for one second that there will always be time or that the person will always be here.
Love on the people you love endlessly.
We just never know when it’ll be the last call, text, or hangout.
Don’t be left with regrets.
So, let’s take from Jake’s example: To love like Jesus, lead with humility and serve wholeheartedly.
Until we meet again, my friend!
Raphael R. Roker 