The Lost Art of Human Touch: How to Revive Real Connections in a Digital World

Hello, my friend! Happy Holidays!

I hope this season is filled with much joy, happiness, and peace.

This may be my last blog post for the year unless I’m inspired to write another.

You may wonder, “Why doesn’t he write more?”

I don’t write just to write.

I believe words carry weight, and I want each post to be as potent as possible and not shallow or surface level.

Nevertheless, I just wanted to say thank you for tagging along with me through this journey called life.

Whether you’re a new or OG follower, you are appreciated.

Now to today’s discussion…

One of the things I’ve been thinking about is how advanced technology is for us to stay connected with family and friends.

Literally, just a call or FaceTime away, even though we may be miles apart.

Yet, we live in a generation that feels more disconnected and lonelier than ever before.

“Even in a digitally connected world, many young people feel alone,” Chido Mpemba, Co-chair of the WHO Commission on Social Connection and Advisor to the African Union Chairperson, said.

A new Oregon State University study of more than 1,500 U.S. adults ages 30 to 70 found that increased social media use, both in how often people check it and how much time they spend on it, is strongly linked with higher levels of loneliness.

Adults who used social media the most were more than twice as likely to feel lonely compared to those who used it the least.

This pattern appeared in both younger and older adults.

Who would have thought?

Many of us equate a social media follow or constant direct messaging with connection.

It’s a form of connection, yes, but it’s not the kind of connection that sustains human relationships.

We need face-to-face interactions.

We have so many followers but still a void in our day-to-day relationships.

Why?

I believe we have lost the art of the human touch.

What do I mean?

Remember when you could just pick up the phone and tell a friend to meet you at a coffee shop or food spot?

I mean, you could have just shown up at your friend’s apartment uninvited and there were no problems.

Now we have to schedule weeks in advance and deal with the “something came up” messages, and there’s no real connection.

We have become so monotonous that joy is sucked out of the spontaneous.

We have become so boundary-oriented that the walls only grow wider and taller.

What a sad reality.

I think we take for granted making time and space for people in our lives because of social media.

We think we can reach them so easily via text that there’s no real effort to go and see them in person.

This sucks!

I saw something on Instagram the other day, and it was so true.

It talked about why hanging out is so hard because we lost the art of the last-minute plan.

The post said,

“It often feels like if we don’t claim a piece of time in our calendars, it’ll disappear. Those hours won’t be ours anymore, but they will have been taken by one of the million other things that are demanded of us. So we try to control time, to master it, to squeeze every bit of value out of it we can.”

True, isn’t it?

If our calendars aren’t filled, we feel like we haven’t accomplished anything.

We leave no room for random calls or messages to meet with a friend.

But what if the real accomplishment is having no calendar at all?

Living in the moment and enjoying the people you love while you can.

Sometimes our calendars can become an idol.

Instead of filling every date with obligations, even important ones, shouldn’t we make space to truly fill our lives and refill our own cups?

I think about college and how easy it was to maintain friendships because we were always around each other.

But now that we’re all adults, we have to make time to see each other face-to-face every now and again.

Even with the joys of each other’s lives post-grad, being in person makes such a difference.

Seeing a friend in the crowd or surprising you at your doorstep.

Can we get back to this?

I long for the day when we return to full couches and not group chats.

Full kitchen tables and not FaceTimes.

Even with constant digital access to others, studies say Americans, and I know it’s more than Americans struggling with this, have become more lonely, especially since the pandemic.

Frequent social media activity does not replace meaningful human connection and may even deepen feelings of isolation.

So here’s my hope for all of us.

Let’s not let technology be a substitute for presence.

Call a friend, show up unexpectedly, sit across from someone you love, and make space for the unplanned moments.

Send a handwritten note, share a meal, or simply listen without distraction.

Speaking of distractions…

Don’t go out with someone if you’re just going to be on your phone the whole time.

It defeats the purpose of being together.

Life is too short to let screens replace the people who matter.

There may come a time when you wish you had gone out to lunch more, taken more pictures, and recorded more videos and voice messages of that loved one.

We’re about to enter a new year, and we don’t have to wait until then.

How can we start being intentional today?

Reach out.

Show up.

Make memories.

Laugh, hug, share, and be present.

Let’s get back to being together, really together, while we still can.